'the loving seamstress'

your life is a text that can be read. your creativity is also a text to be read, and re-read. i've been moved to revisit a creative text of mine, to see what it has to say to me this time around.

the loving seamstress 2009 in the early spring of 2004, i took a class through my church called 'with sacred threads'. the idea was that at the end of the class, each member would have a quilt that explained their spirituality. the loving seamstress is what emerged from within my creative soul. since it has been five years since the creation, i figure it's time to get out my notes, and see what's still the same, and what has evolved. and to hear from you all your thoughts as well..... so here we go!

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my notes from my "spirituality journal" begin this way:

"planning for a creed quilt:"

and i begin now this way:

so. the loving seamstress....

she sort of came to me, an image of a motherly being who was sitting, and stitching quietly. she was sitting with legs crossed, creating a comfy spot for someone to sit. (this happens to me everyday as a parent and as a teacher, where, as soon as you sit down, the kids come running, and plop themselves in the spot where they can feel the most of you around them.) i know that i feel the universe/god/loving seamstress all around me. it is comfort to be aware of it.

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her skirt is made of calico fabrics (that were cut years ago by my great-grandmother). her skirt represents the past. for in looking back, all is crystal clear. when you look back at a situation, you can say, "oh yes, i was sad then." or "that was when i was in third grade." just as easily as you can say, "that is plaid" or "that fabric has orange and white in it." her skirt represents all that she has seen/known before. she keeps it close to her, as we keep our memories close beside us as comfort, or frame of reference. when you were learning to write, or ride a bike, perhaps someone stood behind you, or lay their hand on yours to help guide you. and then, suddenly you realized that you were doing it on your own. whenever i become aware of the 'loving seamstress'/universe, it's there, and then as i grow confident, i realize at some point that 'she' has backed off a bit, and it watching me go!

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in her arms, the 'loving seamstress' is creating the present. the present is not as easy to interpret as the past. in fact, it slips through our fingers before we are able to name it. for when we can name it, it has become the past. the ethereal ribbon here represents the present becoming the past. it shimmers with awareness and consciousness. this 'mess' of ribbon or 'present' also shows how as things unfold, there is so much that is unseen. have you ever looked at a piece of stitching from the bottom. it's such a mess. but if you look on the top, it has a certain shape, and form. it seems to make sense. and yet, it takes that 'mess' beneath it to make the beauty.

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remember that when life is seeming random and ugly, we might be looking at the bottom of the tapestry.

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behind the 'loving seamstress' is the rising moon.

although it does have calico fabrics that (as the past) can be easily identified, it is also spotted with the gauzy haze of the present. one of the beauties of the moon is how it has been around and in our awareness for so long, present at so many post-football game kisses and full moon walks, and present even in the new moon phase when we can't "see" it. it rises behind 'the loving seamstress' also as representation of the phases in life. of the constant ebb and flow. of the reassurance found in the changing of the seasons. it simply cannot stay winter (or summer), sadness (or happiness) forever. it would not only be unnatural, it would be the end of awareness. without one, the other disappears.

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more elements to consider:
*seams held with knowledge (not just beliefs)

...i ended up not actually 'finishing' the quilt. i left the edges raw. i felt that to finish it would be to assume that all learning had ended, all evolution had stopped. a smart move, looking back, because i find my spirituality evolving each day, being influenced by each experience.

*holes left necessarily~to make room for the new (tattered edge

*what holds the pieces together? (what holds 'peace' together?) what is the thread with which we stitch? ethics/values?

*remember to think between the stitches.

*the use of 'the knot'. the french knot as well as other knots were used on the quilt. since making this quilt, i've had changes in my life that make me questions the worth of 'the knot', but in the end, a knot is nothing more than a tangle which can always be loosened. with a little patience.

*it was important to hand-stitch this quilt. i used silver thread (to symbolize moon/starlight) and with each stitch thought love (as the needle went in) and light (as the needle came back through)

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on the back of the 'loving seamstress' is my nod to 'grandmother spider': the creator of the world (the web) in many native cultures. and there is so much to say about this web, and this grandmother spider, that we must wait for the next installment.... after all, there is the present to notice, children to feed, and love to nourish.





so it is.