what you think about.

of course. it's emerson:

"you become what you think about all day long."

this is the 'new' old thing: the power of thought. have you noticed your thoughts lately? i've been watching mine today.

i'm thinking about the rain, and how it's suddenly quite cold and raw outside.
which gets me thinking about
heat,
and being cozy,
and a different way of cooking and eating,
and how you don't move as much when you sleep and it's cold in the room.

and i'm mindful of
how my shoulders are 'up',
and the weight of layers of clothing,
and the clicking of the heater coming on....

heat. what is the temperature where your body is most comfortable. what level of heat feels right? what is your 'boiling point'? what needs 'burning off'? what are you 'fired up' about? what is 'lighting your fire'? how different it feels to need to create your own heat (by rubbing feet together under the covers) rather than the need to fend off the heat (with a ceiling fan). where are you today? heat.

being cozy. coming inside from those 'great outdoors'. those wild expansive spots where there is no boundary, where there's ever another hill, another curve, another cloud to chase. now, it's time for awareness of walls, the warmth of a closely held coffee mug, the smell of something simmering. it's inner-life time now. time to sift through all the beach sand in the seat wells, and see what's worth 'bringing in'.

a different way of cooking and eating. the crunch of lettuce and string beans has shifted with the temperature towards the crisp of tart apple and weight of steak soup. we light a chalice candle at our table inside. outside, summer eating is begun by noticing the light of the sun on the table. i, alone, carry out the tray for outside eating. the kids stand beside me on a chair as i stir the stew. heavy nourishment is necessary for this deeply contemplative time. riches for the soul.

moving in sleep. this morning my bed looked already made when i woke. my cocoon of feathers and cotton a nest of warmth in a sea of chills. my nose is cold when i sleep: a way of keeping conscious amongst all the warmth. i suppose you flip the pillow for a cool spot in summer. now i hold still to let warmth trickle in.

my shoulders are 'up'. these first days of cold are shocking. it's easier, at first, to put up the walls to protect from the cold. but, man! so tiring after awhile. and like those cold times in life when you're missing the one you love, or feeling adrift and unorganized, walls feel reassuring. but what about this?: the relief of letting your shoulders fall. of finding the subtle but real heat from within. it's all about focus. will you focus on the wind blowing in your face, or the sun at your back?

layers of clothing. i love sweater days. being held in textures of wool, cotton, fleece. scent of perfume coming off a scarf warmed with moist breath. knee socks for awareness of calf muscles, the hug of the right pair of pants. knowing where i end, and the rest of the world begins.

click. the heat just came on again. i can smell it. i'm relieved in it. i'm nourished by it.

i have a wildfire inside my heart. i'm thinking about that now.
you become what you think about all day long.

so it is.